Veni, Vedi, Squeedi

I'm off-centered in all areas of my life right now, but I've been desperately trying to get a handle on the writing area. I haven't published anything in a while, and I feel like my momentum and motivation are dying.

I'm trying to start fresh. See, I write best when I am in a creative environment. Makes sense right? I wrote so much fanfic back in the day because I was immersed in fandom. With my original stuff, I have been networking and meeting with creative people to help feed the creative juices and because I like to be near creative people.

The place I was going for my writing fix is not working, so I had to say goodbye. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I think it was the right decision. I have my close friends who, whether they write or not, are always there by my side. Maybe I don't tap into that resource enough because I'm afraid I'll be a pain. It's a fine line. But that's not the problem. This place was supposed to be welcoming to all writers and in the end, I felt as alone as when I started. It's been stifling my creativity--among other things--and if I want to move forward, I have surround myself with people and places that are conductive to my creativity and feeling good about myself. Drama and cliques are not it.

I'd thought of starting my own writing circle, either online or local, but that never works out. I don't have the time or focus to run a comm. (Been there, done that.) There was no local interest. Tried that already. Plus, trust in inherent in the system and that's very difficult to build.

So I am back to square one. Not necessarily a bad place to be. It's all about reframing myself and getting back on track.

I keep telling myself I won't look at spoilers. I'll be much happier, I say. I won't worry about if it's true or not. I won't worry and speculate that something will happen that will suck. I won't get pulled in to the inevitable Dean vs Sam debate. Spoilers bad.

I got some feedback today on my wing!fic series. *sigh* Man, it's been too long since I worked on that. It makes me happy. So much silly fun. It's great to write something with zero pressure. I was supposed to post one like 2 months ago, but I blew that. I need to get back to it.

I try to use the fun and life I put into a hobby like that when I work on my own stuff. Learn your lesson, me!

*wipes hands* I think I am done errands and work and stuff for the day. I need a break. But knowing me, the workoholic I am, that won't happen.

So I am trying to distract myself with some of my unfinished fan works. Only thing is I can't decide to whether to work on the mystery around Dean getting wings in my wing!fic or work on the mystery of Sam traveling to an AU in the Sam AU fic. I'm pumped to write them both. Decisions! Argh.

What about any of you? Is anyone stuck between two fics?

I keep trying to remind myself this my journal and I can do whatever I want. So if I want to post a little bit of some fanfic I am working on, I can do it. Why do I always stop myself from posting about stuff? LOL

I'll be getting to comments soon. I've had a bad week.

But here is the first couple of scenes (first chapter) for my untitled Sam AU I started a few weeks ago where Sam gets sucked into a different reality. It's supposed to take place after Sex and Violence. I think I may work on it some this coming weekend. That, and I'm itching to work on some of my wing!fic. I deserve a break right? Heh.

I'm just posting it to share. You don't have to feel compelled to read it on my account. When it's done, I'll post it more formerly.

( Sam skidded to a halt in front of the antique shop's basement window. )

You know, I've seen them circulate across LJ a lot. It's when someone sort of gives a run down of what they did on a fic, what they left out, and what process they went through while writing. I'm always fascinated by them and I tend to read them when I see them on LJ.

I'm thinking if giving it a go if anyone is interested. If there is a story you might have happened to read and were wondering more about it, I wouldn't mind sharing. Just pick the story and I'll see what I can come up with.

Some people break it down line for line which I wouldn't do. I don't have time for that LOL

Since I won't go THAT deep into detail, short or long fic is fine. I would just do something more conversational than super formal.

If no one is interested, it's no big deal. But if so, just pick a fic from any of the fandoms I've written in and I'll see what I can whip up. They are listed on the side, but the main ones have been SG-1 and Supernatural with some Dark Angel and Smallville on the side.

And feel free to ask the same in your LJ. Like I said, I love the writing process and I wouldn't mind reading some more from people.

(And I need to stop ending my casual online talk with prepositions!)

Flisty! Input?

Okay, we know that Sam is more independent than Dean. In my "Sam goes to an AU," he figures things out fairly quickly. My question, why would Sam seek out alt!Dean? Wouldn't he just try to do everything on his own and not get anyone involved?

I'm sure there is a simple and reasonable answer for this but my mind is stuck completely. AU takes place in S4, if it helps, and Sam IS Sam. Not an alt!Sam.

Snap out of it, me! Snap out of it!

Ah, there should be a song called "Kerri the Procrastinator"

So I was thinking about my wing!fic that I can't work on much right now and how I could bring John into it since its S4 AU and all. And I was thinking if I brought him in and if I decided to go all out, it'd go something like this:

( Short random bit )

Who else thinks that "Sweet Home Alabama" by Kid Rock reminds them of a younger Dean?

Yeah, I'm in avoidance mode. I keep getting distracted. Oh shiny...

Ack, my partly AU wing!fic series that was going to have a few installments and then slink along into the night is now nudging me to go all, out, full-on AU, with massive cast of characters apocalyptic battle to end all battles endings.

Gah. No.

So, I am still here. Go figure.

You know it's a good thing I didn't offer drabbles for holidays for people. You would never get them on time. I am notoriously slow. But even so, I think I am going to offer something for the holidays since I can't do anything that requires cost. I'll post about that separately.

But I still owe a good chunk of drabbles here. So I think I only have five left. Correct me if I'm wrong and I missed yours.

1. DA: Hurt!Alec w/Joshua or Max/Alec
2. DA: Max/Logan
3. SG1: Jack and Daniel friendship
4. SG1: Cam/Sam or Vala
5. SPN or SG-1

I should be getting those done soon. :)

But hey! It's that time of year again! I can use my Jack icon.

You know, I was going to make one of these and then I found this via platysseus. Excellent. Saves me the trouble :)

1)How about a brief introduction of yourself?
If you're here, you probably know that I love to write. I've written in several fandoms, but I've mostly been active in SG-1 and Supernatural. I do dabble a bit in other fandoms too, like Smallville and Dark Angel. My fanfic time is very small these days since I work mostly on original fiction.

2)Fabulous, and what got you into fanfiction to begin with?
Before I even knew what it was, I was writing it. I just wanted to hear more adventures in the Star Wars universe and the published EU books really weren't doing it for me. And this was before they were even called EU. I didn't know it was an actual fannish movement until I discovered SG-1 and the internet.

( Rest Under the Cut )