Veni, Vedi, Squeedi

I was scrolling through some old posts on my various fandoms.

I miss it :(

Man, was I into fandom or what? Art, fic, discussion, and pure squee. Even then, I wasn't as obsessed and post-happy as others. Do I even do any of that now? I'm so crazy busy.

But man. The Smallville days. Mocking the cwazies. Squeeing over my favorite superhero pairing. Looking to see if each new episode would bring us closer to Superman or make me angry. I learned that there are so many other awesome people out there that love Superman and its mythos like I do.

Then there was SG-1. SO. MUCH. FIC. SG-1 was the fandom where I learned so much. This is where I made my first icons, banners, and wallpaper. I really tested and experimented in my writing and showed it to the world for the first time. I met a lot of fantastic people, and I learned a lot of hard lessons.

And last but not least, Supernatural. Still my fave show. Still excited and squeeful, even if I don't share it very often. (Even to meg_tdj.) While the overall strength and quality of the show is not what it used to be, particularly in the overarching story arcs, antagonists, and consistency, it's still stronger than I'd expect at its age with top-notch acting and interesting hooks. I'm proud to still call it my fave show. I wish some of my other fave shows had been this strong and enjoyable when they were in Season 8. I've never been as active in fandom, though, likely due to my past experiences in prior fandoms and because I'm in a different place in my life. Still, I miss the squee and the chat and the fun of being immersed in fandom just the same.

I think sometimes about my other interests, too. How I would love to get more invested in Dark Angel as the fandom is more fun than the show itself. I miss X-Files something fierce, and I think back how it used to be my fave TV show ever, until SPN came along. How fun it was to play with Lost theories and pray my fave characters wouldn't die. Then, of course, Star Wars, which will always have a special place in my heart as I was obsessed with it for so long before it was tainted by some bad experiences and the prequels, which I did not enjoy as much. We'll see what the future holds.

I do miss it all and wish I could reclaim it, if not just a little bit. Maybe I can win that part of me back somehow and adapt it to the person I am now.

Just my random thoughts. What about the rest of you?

 I lost my entire post. I am ticked. And it should not take me an hour to post a SINGLE entry. Man.

Grr. Anyway, take two. I've made some icons, mostly Dark Angel, but some from other fandoms. As usual, feel free to take anything you might like. No comment or credit is necessary. Resource credits are in my user info. Textless are not bases, but I don't care if you add text to them anyway.

[01-02] Return of the Jedi
[03] POTC: At World's End
[04-05] LnC
[06-20] Dark Angel


Teasers:

( Multifandom Icons )


It's funny. I am more comfortable making icons for shows I am not crazy obsessed with while shows I'm deeply invested in are more difficult. I think it's the perfectionism thing I have. Well, despite that perfectionism issue, I am going to try to make some SPN icons anyway.  I may not one of the best, but it's fun :) [Poll #1247515]

Okay, maybe this will work this time...

Too exhausted to try to write anything, so I made a few icons. Per the usual, no comment or credit is necessary if you like and you can always slap on some text to one of the textless icons. Texture/brush/gradient credits in my user info. SPN icons from S1-3, non-spoilery. SW icons are from TESB (one from ANH).

Teaser:


( The Empire Strikes Back )

Teaser:


( Supernatural )

I've come to believe that I'm very much a fandom of one. That in and of itself isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't always mean it's a good thing, either.

We all come to shows for a reason and that reason is unique to each person. I got hooked on Smallville for the Kents and the mythos. I started watching Stargate for Daniel, mythology, and the team. I got hooked on X-Files because of the unsolved mysteries feel to it. Luke Skywalker dragged me into Star Wars. But for other people they might find Lex Luthor fascinating. Or maybe Teal'c. Or maybe Han Solo. It all depends.

Naturally, we seek out people who like what we like. Daniel fans search out Daniel fans. Clana fans seek out Clana fans. Skinner fans look for other Skinner fans. Shippers fall into shipper groups and slashers fall into slasher groups. Gen people seek gen people. It's not diferent than the real world where like seeks like.

But there is a downside. Cliques form. Groups become posessive and develop superiority complexes. Doesn't matter who you like. It's inevitable. You either fit or you don't.

And this is where I fall into trouble. I don't consider myself a shipper, so I don't fit into the shipper groups. I don't consider myself a slasher, so I don't fall into slasher groups. I tend toward gen, but even gen is segmented and fractured, as well as being heavily ignored and dismissed as not as good as ship or slash.

For example, in SG-1, I dabble into Sam/Daniel, but I don't really fit in with Sam/Daniel fans. I dabble into Sam/Teal'c, but I don't really fit there. Heck, I dabble in just about every pairing except for a couple, but I don't fit into any of them. I'm just the outsider that comes by every so often and contributes, but because I don't fully embrace the group mentalities, I don't ever really fit in there.

As a gen person, I tend to get sidelined. I don't buy into a lot of the slash standards. And my views of friendship between characters seem to differ a lot more than the standard norm.

I'm stretched over various places without ever feeling like I've come home.

There's nothing wrong with being unique. I like my views. I like how I read the show. And I don't expect everyone to read it the same way. And I honestly do enjoy knowing so many people that view the show differently than me. It's refreshing. It challenges me. And it keeps me on my toes. None of us should have to feel like we have to conform just for the sake of feeling like we belong. Ugh, no. But it can sure get lonely when you realize that you can't really be pegged into any one place in a fandom. In those moments, I tend to feel very much like Cameron with it just being SG-me.

Um, wow. My brother was not kidding when he said this trailer was good. Well, he used the term amazing, but I didn't believe him. Perhaps I should since he is the worst when it comes to criticizing a movie. Nothing makes this man happy!

Anyway, I guess they played it on Fox last night, according to one of my friends. It played after The OC. Since I don't watch that show, I didn't know about it. My bro doesn't watch that show either, so I am curious as to how he was in the know and I wasn't!

But, let me tell you. I was impressed by this trailer. The prequels will never be as good as the originals in my eyes, but this trailer was nice. Now, a trailer can tell you alot about a movie or nothing at all. Trailers for eps 1 and 2 were great too. But man, this puppy is dark. DARK. I like. I might have some hope for this movie yet!

( Click here to journey with me to the Dark Side of spoilers )

*hugs Star Wars*