Veni, Vedi, Squeedi

So...I've been very unhappy with the direction Supernatural has taken over the past two seasons, namely Season 8 and 9, but despite my unhappiness, I just might be falling back in love with the show. I haven't talked about it much, but I'm about to now.

(Spoilers for through the end of Season 9 below.)

It's not so much the storyline - I think Carver does a better job at overall arcs than Gamble did, though Gamble was a master at characterization - but Carver's characterization has been horrible. Sam not looking for Dean, not even trying? I had no problem with him trying to start over and escape his pain. That is what Sam does. He runs away. I don't buy that he never looked. We saw that Dean was looking in Season 6. A throw away line or a flashback of Sam giving up would have done it for me. Then when Dean was super upset over the whole thing, they could have revealed that Sam had tried.

In Season 9, we had Sam possessed by Gadriel. Not a terrible idea, but poorly executed. Again, I had issues with Sam's characterization in that he just decided he wanted to live in the S8 finale when he and Dean had that great moment before the angels fell. And then all of a sudden he wants to die? I can't make sense of that. It was just a poor excuse to have Dean do whatever it takes to save Sam. Then, in the second half, when we had the cool Mark of Cain arc building up, the brothers acted like they couldn't stand each other. I didn't sign up to watch them be so...cold.

The show has fallen into this bad habit of manufacturing tension between Sam and Dean. Sam didn't look for Dean. Dean took away Sam's agency. But it's not just been Carver. With Gamble, we had Dean kill Amy behind Sam's back. We had Soulless!Sam, though that made more sense. Kripke did it too. The big problem is that as the series has aged, the tension has moved from something organic to inorganic. It doesn't work. Why not have a season with Sam embracing the Men of Letters and Dean more aligned with Hunters? We saw crazy MOL collector. Could Sam become THAT obsessed? You could easily use their different personalities to highlight this split and show how much stronger they are when they work together. This past season, the possessed!Sam could have opened up some interesting doors - even though I was sour on the idea because I prefer Dean aligned with heaven (I blame fanfic). Spending more time on Sam's awareness of Dean's descent and heck, even making Dean's unraveling a little more coherent would have worked.

Anyway, it sounds like I'm ranting. In many ways I am. This is my show. This, apparently, will always be my show, surpassing the love I've had for Star Wars and X-Files and SG-1 combined. So I've been upset when I see the potential wasted and I sit in front of the TV anxious what more damage will be done to the characters in the name of tension and drama.

But these past two months, I've been thinking about the remaining potential in the show. I think about how invested the cast and crew still are. I've thought about some of the valid problems I've had, and maybe the not so valid ones. I am not a writer on the show. I can't will the show to take the direction I want. I have to let go and just watch. I can't control everything.

I've been rewatching old episodes and remembering just how much I love the family themes in the show, the themes of sacrifice and love and doing the right thing. I really still do love this show and I'm excited for when Season 10 begins in October. Seriously, this new season could be amazing. Then again, I could be fooled again.

Do I think everything will be perfect? No. I've been burned too much by false hope before. But I still do have some hope. Cautious hope? Whatever happens, I know that this show will always have a place in my heart and that I won't give up on it until I have no more hope to spare.

Even if I am all alone.

I was scrolling through some old posts on my various fandoms.

I miss it :(

Man, was I into fandom or what? Art, fic, discussion, and pure squee. Even then, I wasn't as obsessed and post-happy as others. Do I even do any of that now? I'm so crazy busy.

But man. The Smallville days. Mocking the cwazies. Squeeing over my favorite superhero pairing. Looking to see if each new episode would bring us closer to Superman or make me angry. I learned that there are so many other awesome people out there that love Superman and its mythos like I do.

Then there was SG-1. SO. MUCH. FIC. SG-1 was the fandom where I learned so much. This is where I made my first icons, banners, and wallpaper. I really tested and experimented in my writing and showed it to the world for the first time. I met a lot of fantastic people, and I learned a lot of hard lessons.

And last but not least, Supernatural. Still my fave show. Still excited and squeeful, even if I don't share it very often. (Even to meg_tdj.) While the overall strength and quality of the show is not what it used to be, particularly in the overarching story arcs, antagonists, and consistency, it's still stronger than I'd expect at its age with top-notch acting and interesting hooks. I'm proud to still call it my fave show. I wish some of my other fave shows had been this strong and enjoyable when they were in Season 8. I've never been as active in fandom, though, likely due to my past experiences in prior fandoms and because I'm in a different place in my life. Still, I miss the squee and the chat and the fun of being immersed in fandom just the same.

I think sometimes about my other interests, too. How I would love to get more invested in Dark Angel as the fandom is more fun than the show itself. I miss X-Files something fierce, and I think back how it used to be my fave TV show ever, until SPN came along. How fun it was to play with Lost theories and pray my fave characters wouldn't die. Then, of course, Star Wars, which will always have a special place in my heart as I was obsessed with it for so long before it was tainted by some bad experiences and the prequels, which I did not enjoy as much. We'll see what the future holds.

I do miss it all and wish I could reclaim it, if not just a little bit. Maybe I can win that part of me back somehow and adapt it to the person I am now.

Just my random thoughts. What about the rest of you?

My musings beneath the cut contain spoilers for all episodes aired. Do not read if you aren't caught up on the series.

( My spoiler free thoughts on where Supernatural is taking the Bobby story. )

Supernatural won not one, but TWO People's Choice Awards last night.

They won for Best Scifi/Fantasy show AND Best TV Network Drama. AWESOME.

I was hoping for at least one, but two? I am ridiculously happy. They work so hard and really deserve it. Not bad for a show in its 7th season.

I have more to say on that later (and then some) so expect more SPN babbling later.

For now, take a look at Jared and Jensen's acceptance speech:

Care of Jared and Jensen's bodyguard on set:



And people wonder why I am such a fan :)

YES!!! My fave show comes back for a Season 7.

Acting and writing are still amazing, even if the show had a bumpy spot this year.

Still going strong, SPN. Still going strong!

I keep telling myself I won't look at spoilers. I'll be much happier, I say. I won't worry about if it's true or not. I won't worry and speculate that something will happen that will suck. I won't get pulled in to the inevitable Dean vs Sam debate. Spoilers bad.

I got some feedback today on my wing!fic series. *sigh* Man, it's been too long since I worked on that. It makes me happy. So much silly fun. It's great to write something with zero pressure. I was supposed to post one like 2 months ago, but I blew that. I need to get back to it.

I try to use the fun and life I put into a hobby like that when I work on my own stuff. Learn your lesson, me!

So tonight's episode...

( My thinky thoughts )

Supernatural's back in the saddle again!

I loved the episode last night. Right now I am debating whether I am going to post my thoughts or not. I'm pretty satisfied and I've been babbling all day with meg_tdj about it, but I'll see if I can compose my thoughts enough to actually post about it. Suffice it to say, Kerri is pleased *grins*

Wish I could say the same about Smallville, which was pretty stinky last night, but at least it had some memorable moments.