SPN fic: Huntin' Ain't Never Been So Shiny

[moonshayde]

Title: Huntin' Ain't Never Been So Shiny
Author: Moonshayde
Category: Crackfic (SPN/Twilight crossover)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Dean and Sam find something new to hunt.
Word Count: 531
Rating: PG

A/N: Total crackfic. No SPN spoilers, but a few Breaking Dawn spoilers. With all the wank going on with the Twilight fandom, I couldn't resist. No offense to the Twilight fans. This is just in good fun. I thank fandom_wank for corrupting me on this one.

Disclaimer: None of them are mine. Just having fun.


----------------------
Dean pulled the Impala to the side of the road and threw her into park. He did a quick inventory of the forest on either side of the lone highway, but didn't see a sign of a creepy or a crawly. Satisfied, he leaned back into his seat and glanced over to his right. "So, this is it?"

Sam nodded. "This is it."

Dean studied the worn paper in Sam's hands. On it there was a short list of names along with a convenient map.

"According to Bobby, his contact said the thing should be here any minute." Sam stiffened. "There."

There was a low moan from around the bend in the road. Dean leaned forward and slid his hand to the Colt at his back. Coming the opposite way was a...

Dean frowned. "For God's sake, it drives a Volvo?"

Sam ignored him. "Let's go."

Both Winchester brothers hopped out of the Impala and started toward the Volvo parked on the opposite side. What came out of the car stopped them dead in their tracks.

He was a lean pale guy, with freaky hair, and for second Dean swore the thing was wearing makeup. He squinted. Freakin' lavender eyeshadow. He didn't even know the male vamps swung that way.

But that wasn't the worst part.

The dude sparkled. He seriously sparkled.

Dean leaned over to whisper to Sam. "They starting to wear glitter now?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I guess being dead can get boring."

"Couldn't they find something less pansy-like?"

The vampire started walking toward them, and paused, frowning at the sight of the Chevy Impala behind them. It looked straight at Dean. "Do you realize how much damage that car does to the environment?"

Dean blinked. "Okay, then...David Bowe here has gone eco-friendly."

"We probably should get this over with," Sam whispered.

"What? You don't want to try to reason with it?"

Sam stared at him. "Are you kidding me?"

Dean nodded. He wasn't going to argue about shiny there.

The vampire - according to the list named Edward Cullen - stopped in front of them with some superior air and stared at them in all of his shiny sparkly glory. Then he spoke.

"Do I dazzle--?"

The vampire hit the ground like a rock. Dean blew the smoke from the barrel of the Colt.

"All right. What's next on the list?"

"Something called Nessie."

"Loch Ness Monster? Here?"

"That's what the list says." Sam folded the paper and shoved it into his pocket. "You know, it's kind of weird a nest of vampires would get in touch with Bobby to take out a few of their own."

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I don't think I blame them." Dean toed the glimmering body. "That's just embarrassing." He shook his head. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Well, would you want that in your family?" Sam pointed to the sparkling vampire corpse.

"Can't pick your family, Sammy."

"Don't I know it."

Dean frowned. "Hey."

Again, Sam ignored him. "I suppose it could be worse."

"How?"

"Well, it could have been some mutant death-baby."

Dean shuddered. Now that was truly a frightening thought.

Comments

[dawnfirenight.livejournal.com]

GLEE! I was just having a conversation with a friend the other day about how fantastic a SPN/Twilight crossover would be. And by fantastic I meant "The Winchesters take the Cullens out." (I'm a Twilight fan, sorta, but Breaking Dawn disappointed me.)

Also, hi! I got over my awkwardness and have friended you.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'll admit I haven't read any of the Twilight books, but I've been "dazzled" by all the wank out there over Breaking Dawn. I've been having a hard time believing it.

So I'm glad I didn't offend. I'm just joking around.

And welcome! Looking forward to getting to know you :)

[gembat.livejournal.com]

I... I think I love you. <33333333333

"You know, it's kind of weird a nest of vampires would get in touch with Bobby to take out a few of their own."

*lols FOREVER AND EVAH*

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

*grins*

Thanks! It was fun.

[maychorian.livejournal.com]

Eeheeheeheeheeee!

Serves them right.

Oh, if only, if only this were true.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Hee hee. With all the Twilight wank, I couldn't help myself. That's been some good reading.

[flynn-boyant.livejournal.com]

*lmao*

Brilliance!
Sheer brilliance :)

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[stargazercmc.livejournal.com]

Brava!

*Recs like mad*

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Heh heh. Thanks. It was fun :)

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

OMG! Brilliant!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[cofax7]

::cackles::

I haven't read any of the books, but Cleolinda's recaps are enough for this. Heh.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

I adored her recaps. I fully admit to not reading the books, though. It's just the scenario was just too tempting to pass up.

Thanks for reading :)

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

heee! this is fabulous. i never read the twilight books - everything i know, i learned from online snark and cleolinda's recaps - but this is pretty much how i'd expect a cullen/winchester meeting to go down. "They starting to wear glitter now?" "I don't know. I guess being dead can get boring." *snicker*

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading! I have been loving cleolinda's recaps. They kept me up all night when I found them. So so funny. So I admit to not reading the books myself, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the snark :)

[bodgei.livejournal.com]

so far this has been the best part of Breaking Dawn.

Oh, hang on, this didn't happen in BD? Darn!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!

I guess we all missed that part huh?

Thanks for reading :)

[thegirlisfrail.livejournal.com]

Now THAT should have been the ending to Breaking Dawn!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thanks!

[that-september.livejournal.com]

The vampire - according to the list named Edward Cullen - stopped in front of them with some superior air and stared at them in all of his shiny sparkly glory. Then he spoke.

"Do I dazzle--?"

The vampire hit the ground like a rock. Dean blew the smoke from the barrel of the Colt.

THIS IS MY NEW CANON. ♥

Hilarious, seriously. I think I've scared my sister with my hysterical laughter. :D

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that you had a good laugh about it. :)

Thanks for reading!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[mre-quecky.livejournal.com]

First of: I really didn't know that there was such a Twilight hype , although I read the first three books and loved them...
Haven't read Breaking Dawn though, so in my eyes Edward Cullen is still a good guy (from the comments I take it he's been a dick in Breaking Dawn?).

BUT: LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your little fic :D Awesome! Though I guess Sam and Dean haven't taken care of the real bad vamps... Damn.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure as I haven't read the finale book myself, but I've heard some really weird things happen in it. I just wrote this for fun and because I'm addicted to the Winchester brothers :)

I'm glad that you enjoyed it and weren't offended by it :)

[rigel-7.livejournal.com]

♥

I love you like mad!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Hee.

I couldn't help myself. Thanks ;)

[lyore.livejournal.com]

LMAO! This should be considered the unofficial epilogue to the Twilight books.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Haha. That would be funny.

Thanks ;)

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

oh god yes. this SO needs to happen.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it ;)

[imbaskinrobbins.livejournal.com]

"Do I dazzle--?"

The vampire hit the ground like a rock. Dean blew the smoke from the barrel of the Colt.

HEE! So much love. &hearts

One thing: Dean shuttered should be "shuddered."

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for that catch! The one time I don't beta rught? LOL

Thanks for reading :)

[feeferj.livejournal.com]

I needed this. I SO needed this after the disaster that was Breaking Dawn. I love you for this. Truly.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Glad I could help! :)

Thanks!

[ewanspotter.livejournal.com]

Edward Cullen PWN'D by the Winchesters, FTW!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Hee. Indeed!

Thanks for reading :)

[handyhunter.livejournal.com]

Hee! Awesome!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

I loved Breaking Dawn, and frankly all the wank annoys me.

But I found this fic humorous, and from the Winchester pov, it makes so much sense to kill the Cullens.

Thanks for the laughs.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry the wank has you down. I know it can get kind of mean.

But I'm glad you could enjoy this and not be offended. I just wrote it for fun. And Winchesters. Because they rock.

Thanks :)

[ta-petite-chou.livejournal.com]

Hi - this is amazing. I'm completely disappointed in Twilight, and I think this is a wonderful mix. Could I possibly borrow it (with proper credit given and everything) to show some friends of mine?

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! And sure, feel free to share it :) I appreciate that you asked :)

[tehrussian.livejournal.com]

Sent here by handyhunter.

LOL!!! This is hilarious!!

>>"You know, it's kind of weird a nest of vampires would get in touch with Bobby to take out a few of their own."

Priceless! So, who else is on the list? Heh.

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it :)

[vamp-ress.livejournal.com]

I just know enough about "Twilight" to find my way around in this fic. Hell, this amazing. The world will thank Sam and Dean for taking out that threat to mankind:)

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

Thanks! To be honest, I barely know Twilight myself. I just couldn't help it ;)