A Look Back

I spent the night going through some of my old posts here on LJ.

I have learned the following:

1. I used to post a lot more.
2. I was in denial about loving Supernatural and being disappointed in Smallville and SG-1 for a long time.
3. I complained and whined about how bad my life was too much.

Other things popped out at me, but these are the ones that stood out from what I looked at.

I'd like to post more often. Life is still hard, and I've had a rotten past 6 months, but I don't feel as melodramatic as I used to be. I still have my moments, but I think it's because I tend to post when I am having an especially bad day.

The second point really interests me though. Aside from being a contrary person who is beyond stubborn, when I look back at my fannish stuff and how I was always apologizing or rationalizing or making up excuses why or why not I watched something, I realize that I was so afraid of people unfriending me or worried about what people though (and afraid of change) that I couldn't let go. I was obviously not happy with SG-1 any more, but I kept with it. I was obviously trying to argue that that Smallville was good, when it was hit or miss. I was obviously loving Supernatural, but didn't want to move onto a new show.

I find it interesting. I obviously won't be making that mistake again. This is MY space.

Six years have passed and I'm still with a fantastic show. I need to post more often. No excuses ;)