moonshayde: (Castiel's Charge)
So so close to finishing this fanfic I've worked on forever. So close I can taste it.

Knowing me, a bunch of surprise scenes will hit at the end. Gah.

Almost at the end. Almost.
moonshayde: (Yoda)
Overall, been kind of quiet because I am dealing with a pretty intense depressive episode. I'm in a place where I can't really talk about it, but for anyone who has gone through this, I'm sure you can understand how raw and painful it feels.

Just wanted to let you know why I am scarce.

Cleaning

Jun. 26th, 2013 02:36 pm
moonshayde: (Bad Acting)
Old notebooks!

Purging today.Found one with Hebrew in it, back when I was trying to learn the language. That brought back some bad memories of professors who were cruel and arrogant so...gone! I'll try to learn the language another time.

Next I've found a writing notebook. SG-1! Ha, these are drafts of old stories. I bet I'll find SPN next...
moonshayde: (Intense Vampire Dean)
Some time ago, I recall posting a tiny tiny excerpt from wing!fic to come. It's in one of my notebooks as well, back when I was using them, and now that I am trying to find it, I can't. So I come to handy LJ.

And I forgot to tag it.

ARGH.

I don't need it for the wing!fic I'm currently finishing, but I wanted to move it to a safer file.

This is what happens when you are not organized!

WHY?

May. 27th, 2013 06:36 pm
moonshayde: (Sam Flops)
And my whine for the day:

Why must writing be so lonely? Why, why, why, WHY?

*pouts*
moonshayde: (Intense Vampire Dean)
I will say this and it has nothing to do with any spoilers.

It's pretty disappointing when I can't even read comments or reactions to the promos every week on various websites without someone complaining. It's either disgruntled Sam fans unhappy or disgruntled Dean fans unhappy or Castiel haters or whatever. It makes me feel that my usual complaint - that I want a cool supernatural storyline for Dean that is important or relevant (in additional to the caring and concerned brother) - is like brother bashing. I hate that. I don't bash any of the characters. Dean might be my fave, but I like all the characters. But that's what it feels like when all I see is negative. Everyone has a right to their opinions, including myself, but man. I often feel like no one even likes this show.

But anyway. I shouldn't read the comments. Just gets lonely!
moonshayde: (No Harshing)
So, apparently, I find I am most productive early in the morning. World, what have you done to me? I remember a time when I was most productive during the ungodly hours of night. Like, late night. Times, how they change.

So if I am going to make the most of my days, I need to make sure I get as much as possible done early. This also means I probably should be exercising early, too.

One of the items on my checklist for today is my blog. I have a blog for my writer self, one that has been neglected as of late, because I am often at a loss for what to say. I've only had a few stories published by some small presses and anthologies, so I feel reluctant to post on writing tips and strategies. Not too many people listen to an author no one has heard of.

I'm not selling myself short. I'm proud of what I have done so far despite all the stress factors in my life. And I am determined to keep working and become published with the large NY presses. It might take a while, but it'll happen someday. On the flip side, [livejournal.com profile] gategrrl gave me some really great ideas about what to post that I might actually enjoy. I'm hoping to do that starting this week.

Part of the whole problem with blogging and having a social media presence as writer trying to break into the larger world of publishing is lack of following or lack of support. Meaning, if you're not in with a group of writers or industry people it makes it harder to do blog tours, cross-posting, etc. If no one knows who you are, then it's harder to have a blog presence. I know some writer people drag their fandom friends/fans into their writer life, but I try hard not to do that unless people are truly interested. Seems manipulative to me? Plus, aren't we supposed to be focused on writing and not blogging?

This almost sounds like whining, but it isn't. Just the facts. I'm just a little frustrated with the politics of it all.

Now to get some work done...
moonshayde: (Got Nothing)
Because all the cool kids are doing it.

Sadly, it took some work because I realize I haven't written and posted in years. YEARS. What? Yet, I am still working on WIPs. Must work faster.

So these are the first lines from 21 12 of my fics. They are achingly old, and I couldn't bring myself to post lines from stories any older. I added three from WIPs I am currently - yes, for really reals - working on. Apparently, these are all Supernatural.
Here they are. )

I have learned that some are decent lines, but other times not sure what I was thinking.

Fandoms

Apr. 14th, 2013 12:24 pm
moonshayde: (Walk Together)
I was scrolling through some old posts on my various fandoms.

I miss it :(

Man, was I into fandom or what? Art, fic, discussion, and pure squee. Even then, I wasn't as obsessed and post-happy as others. Do I even do any of that now? I'm so crazy busy.

But man. The Smallville days. Mocking the cwazies. Squeeing over my favorite superhero pairing. Looking to see if each new episode would bring us closer to Superman or make me angry. I learned that there are so many other awesome people out there that love Superman and its mythos like I do.

Then there was SG-1. SO. MUCH. FIC. SG-1 was the fandom where I learned so much. This is where I made my first icons, banners, and wallpaper. I really tested and experimented in my writing and showed it to the world for the first time. I met a lot of fantastic people, and I learned a lot of hard lessons.

And last but not least, Supernatural. Still my fave show. Still excited and squeeful, even if I don't share it very often. (Even to [livejournal.com profile] meg_tdj.) While the overall strength and quality of the show is not what it used to be, particularly in the overarching story arcs, antagonists, and consistency, it's still stronger than I'd expect at its age with top-notch acting and interesting hooks. I'm proud to still call it my fave show. I wish some of my other fave shows had been this strong and enjoyable when they were in Season 8. I've never been as active in fandom, though, likely due to my past experiences in prior fandoms and because I'm in a different place in my life. Still, I miss the squee and the chat and the fun of being immersed in fandom just the same.

I think sometimes about my other interests, too. How I would love to get more invested in Dark Angel as the fandom is more fun than the show itself. I miss X-Files something fierce, and I think back how it used to be my fave TV show ever, until SPN came along. How fun it was to play with Lost theories and pray my fave characters wouldn't die. Then, of course, Star Wars, which will always have a special place in my heart as I was obsessed with it for so long before it was tainted by some bad experiences and the prequels, which I did not enjoy as much. We'll see what the future holds.

I do miss it all and wish I could reclaim it, if not just a little bit. Maybe I can win that part of me back somehow and adapt it to the person I am now.

Just my random thoughts. What about the rest of you?
moonshayde: (Dean Face)
Nothing bad, but just one of those days where I wish I wasn't an ADULT adult, and I didn't have to worry about silly things like bills and responsibilities and work-stuff. I much rather just write fic, make art, and do fun goofy fandom stuff.
moonshayde: (Dean Rebel)
I have seen the promo. I am ridiculously excited for the episode of Supernatural on Wednesday. That is all.
moonshayde: (Fry)
I wish I had more to report on the review front, but sadly it has been a very difficult year. I am hoping that 2013 has brighter days ahead.

The Recap

I started off the year in a tough place. My dog of 12 years passed away rather suddenly and it broke our hearts. Our other dog was upset by the absence, too. A few months later, we decide to get a puppy. We knew that getting and raising a puppy would be hard, but it would be one of those things that would pay off in the end. Puppy, whom I call Little Miss, has proven to have a difficult personality. She's much better now, but is still a Work in Progress.

Financially, 2012 has been very hard, and I don't expect 2013 to be much better on that front. I'll have to make more cuts. I don't know what they are yet.

Creatively, I also hit an impasse in 2012. With so much of my time and effort focused on my family, I have had little time for myself, my health, or my hobbies. My fanfic series is languishing in limbo, and my own original fic pursuits have been stagnant. This is an area that vitally has to change going forward.

I didn't get to see my friends much in 2012, both online and off, which has been a low for me.

The good news is that despite all of this, I did have a couple of short stories published in different anthologies in 2012. I need to keep it going as we enter into the New Year.

I'd like very much to stay here, even if I post only occasionally. I know most people have moved on. I'm also guilty of using other services to communicate under my penname. But for those of you who are staying, I would be happy to have you.
moonshayde: (Dean Smiles)
I have obviously not signed into LJ in awhile because what the heck happened? I hate change!

Coming up soon...a year in review of sorts.
moonshayde: (Rock On)
A Happy Thanksgiving to anyone on my list who celebrates it. Eat up!
moonshayde: (Jo (pastel))
I'm off-centered in all areas of my life right now, but I've been desperately trying to get a handle on the writing area. I haven't published anything in a while, and I feel like my momentum and motivation are dying.

I'm trying to start fresh. See, I write best when I am in a creative environment. Makes sense right? I wrote so much fanfic back in the day because I was immersed in fandom. With my original stuff, I have been networking and meeting with creative people to help feed the creative juices and because I like to be near creative people.

The place I was going for my writing fix is not working, so I had to say goodbye. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I think it was the right decision. I have my close friends who, whether they write or not, are always there by my side. Maybe I don't tap into that resource enough because I'm afraid I'll be a pain. It's a fine line. But that's not the problem. This place was supposed to be welcoming to all writers and in the end, I felt as alone as when I started. It's been stifling my creativity--among other things--and if I want to move forward, I have surround myself with people and places that are conductive to my creativity and feeling good about myself. Drama and cliques are not it.

I'd thought of starting my own writing circle, either online or local, but that never works out. I don't have the time or focus to run a comm. (Been there, done that.) There was no local interest. Tried that already. Plus, trust in inherent in the system and that's very difficult to build.

So I am back to square one. Not necessarily a bad place to be. It's all about reframing myself and getting back on track.

Hiatus

Aug. 11th, 2012 11:28 am
moonshayde: (Impala on the Road)
I've barely been around anyway, and despite having so many things I want to do here. Life is too much right now. When things get less stressful and start looking up, I'll be back. For now, everything is too much.

I hope everyone is well!
moonshayde: (SG1)
It's official. The website is completely dismantled now. Any fic that can't be found here or elsewhere on the web, just contact me and I'll see if I still have it. I'm sure there are deadlinks on LJ. I will get to those when I can. I believe this mainly impacts my SG-1 fic, but there might be other stuff missing as well.

Thanks to everyone who supported my fansite by visiting it all these years. I know it hasn't worked properly in ages. It was time to finally just take the whole thing down. I still have some fanfic to finish here on my LJ-which I have been saying for like 2 years now and it hasn't happened yet, but that is what happened when real life gets hectic--and some art, so LJ will serve those needs. As for as websites go, I really need to be focusing on my site for my published works.

If I can get my act together soon, I hope to be posting again. I hope all is well with everyone and take care.
moonshayde: (Default)
We have a new puppy and I'm struggling to housebreak her. I'll post more soon when I am not up every 3 hours!
moonshayde: (Rock On)
Yeah, it's official. I have just about reached levels of SPN obsession that I had back during S3. This show has been my favorite for a looong time, but man that finale just kicked me right back into the falling-in-love stage all over again.

Into Season 8, no less.

AWESOME.

*flails*

Advance apologies for those who don't want the show or who aren't into it quite as strongly anymore. I foresee an SPN squee-filled summer on my LJ.

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